it was selfish of me, but i never wanted to let him go. i just want to hold his hands tight and keep him beside me. but i know it would not last... but still, am trying to hold on... hold on to his sweet smile and his warm embrace... no one would ever imagine my being this way... no one ever could imagine that i could fall so much and so deep...

sometimes when you dont think you are capable of doing something, it just takes one person to make you realize that you could do the impossible. as for me it started when yoshi messaged me through his mobile phone and asked me if it was possible for us to have dinner one saturday night. i was hesitant to reply because of how casual he invited me for dinner.

i guess he was just being the japanese/canadian/australian guy that he grew up to be. even so, i replied for him to call me first and maybe i could at least know how he sounds like over the phone and have a little bit of hint of what kind of guy he is.

"hello... may i speak to damianne please." yoshi's voice sounds as if struggling to get each english word out of his japanese tongue.

"this is he... yoshi? hi there... where are you?" i have nothing else to say hence the first question that popped out of my head.

"im about to leave the office. its a bit wierd that you wanted me to call, because we could talk later over dinner." his questioning voice became more of australian accent now. "so... are you available later for dinner and maybe some drinks?"

"i just got home and a bit hungry, dinner is perfect. maybe we could have dinner at greenbelt. do you know where that is?"my excitement was uncontainable, i just hope he didnt notice.

"of course i know that place. i live in makati" he spilled out while trying not to laugh. " ive been working for more than a year now in manila, so i know my way around the common places here. so i guess i should be going home to fix up and il meet you later at greenbelt for dinner.ok?"

"sure, ill see you there" i clicked the end button of my mobile phone first, hoping that he didnt take it as a rude thing and started to fix myself a bit and waited for the driver to drive me to makati.

i didnt know what i was feeling on my way to greenbelt. ive been trying to find a comfortable place at the back of the car but my hesitation and enthusiasm couldnt jive inside my head.

my mobile phone rang and it displayed yoshi's number

"hello." i answered quickly

"hi damianne. where are you?" yoshi sounded a bit tipsy. his words have this curled sound at the end of his question.

"am already in buendia. are you in greenbelt?" i tried looking for any landmarks that i could give to let him know how near i am at greenbelt. " sorry if i made you wait. i live in manila all my life but i could never make right assumptions when it comes to traffic in EDSA"

"its ok damianne. am having coffee now at starbucks here at greenbelt. am just gonna wait for you outside, alright? ill just hang out beside the fountain. bye bye. see you in awhile." the phone was cut right after that last word.

i have been meeting a lot of guys before for the same dinner date like this one but it seems that this is different...

and i was totally right when i said that this was really different...